Since 2005, October 2 is Festa dei nonni (Grandparents’ Day) in Italy. As in other world countries, this holiday is meant to celebrate the special bond between grandparents and grandchildren. Grandparents have been and still are a pillar of the Italian family and of Italian society as a whole. In the last decades, however, their role and their average age, status, and lifestyle have changed significantly. Let’s see how this happened and what role Italian nonni play compared to U.S. grandparents.
Evolution of Italian Nonni (and Italian Family) Over the Last 50 Years
Italian society has changed considerably over the last decades: Families are smaller, non-traditional single-parent families are a reality, work hours are often a variation of the traditional 9 to 6 Monday through Friday schedule, and families are more scattered, at least geographically.
In a not-so-distant past—let’s say, until the years after WWII—extended families lived together or very close to each other. Boundaries between generations were not so fixed, and while this often came with a certain amount of conflict, grandparents easily passed on traditions, stories, skills, and knowledge.
That changed during and after the 1960s and 1970s, as families started to become more and more nuclear. Forget the stereotype of the large Italian family; Italy actually has one of the lowest birth rates in the world—and it would be way lower without the precious contributions of immigrants. This has caused the role of grandparents to shift—albeit not their centrality. Italy still has a strong sense of extended family, and grandparents are probably more essential to families than ever. For one thing, they tend to live much longer than they might have in the past, so they can now build longer, stronger relationships with their grandchildren and see them grow. For another thing, grandparents now usually have fewer grandchildren than before—at times only one—so they can foster significant bonds with them. Finally, Italians have their children much later in life these days. When they do have their babies, grandparents are often retired already, with more free time and, usually, a great willingness to help. For many, grandparents are the true, properly functioning Italian welfare, compensating for insufficient—or overly expensive—daycare and odd work hours.
Italian vs. American Grandparents: Similarities and Differences
In the United States, Grandparents’ Day has no fixed date; it is celebrated in September on the first Sunday after Labor Day. Italians and Americans share the same flower for the day: nontiscordardimé—that is, the forget-me-not. On a more substantive level, the bond between grandparents and grandchildren has the same potential in both cultures. Grandparents can be role models, go-to-people, mentors, and overindulging and patient storytellers (as only grandparents can be) in both cultures—and probably in most cultures.
Historically, Italians have relied on their family network more than Americans have. This is even more true when it comes to Italian Americans, who often tried to overcome homesickness by keeping family ties as strong as ever—stronger even than Italians themselves did. One of the greatest differences in grandparents’ role between the two cultures is a physical matter: distances. While it is true that Italian families are more scattered than before, many people tend to live not too far from where they grew up, and in any case, Italy is not as big as the United States. Living in different states often makes it impossible for American grandparents to help their children by looking after their kids and having a role in their everyday lives.
Grandparents Go to Class
There are multiple ways to incorporate Grandparents’ Day into classroom activities, the first one being talking about personal experiences with grandparents and comparing them with others from the class. Maybe someone in the class is of Italian heritage and can share firsthand stories from an Italian American family.
Another way to foster discussion and comparisons about grandparents across cultures is to start with pictures: Find online photos of an Italian family from 50 years ago and compare them with a typical Italian family in 2024. A few images can go a long way toward sparking an interesting and enriching class discussion.
Finally, there are endless online videos of Italian nonne teaching how to cook basically everything. Some of these videos are pretty caricatural, considering that plenty of Italian grandmothers actually cook the bare minimum, but stereotyping the Italian family can also be an interesting topic—and maybe you’ll learn some new recipes along the way!
By Claudia Quesito
You Might Also Like:
How to Incorporate Grandparents’ Day in the Classroom
Coming Together: Family and Community Involvement Are Key to School Success
